Tidal

by | Jun 11, 2021 | Blog Post

Lately, I’ve been thinking about just being a writer… what the fuck would I write about? When I’m very transparent and honest about my struggles people get it. But this feels different. What is it that feels that way? Not sure yet. I am gonna call it the Dry Drunk. Wait… how do I fit Cat Lady in there.

It feels guilty, not in the sense that I am telling all my dark secrets, in the sense that it is not what I went to school for, but I know that’s ridiculous. If I am, to be honest, my master’s degree is way too specialized to do me any good. I did that degree for two reasons, one, I was sick to death of hairdressing, and two I was so tired of Ontario. So really it was worth it, in that sense.

Hospitality and hairdressing are the same in that they are both a hard grind. And as anyone who works in those industries could tell you, to be good at it, you gotta love it. I do love both, but my nerves can’t take the pressure anymore. So I’m good with this as a creative outlet and keeping myself disciplined about it like a job. Of course, there is no money in it, and I spent a whack on my original business idea…so I’m gonna figure it out. My intention is to live a much lower-key lifestyle so I can live.

Storytelling has always come naturally for me, although I do worry I will run out of stories. If I do, I will stop, I guess. I doubt that will happen, I could write something every day it seems. I like writing, it’s something I’ve always done. I have no idea how fast blogs are supposed to grow, and mine is a bit darker than some. 😐 I am a numbers geek however so google analytics is fun for me. Like a video game, I like getting numbers and analyzing. Currently, I am building this ereader, with the hope that I can lend my Ebooks out. But what I really would like to happen is the website not be a vanity piece, but something a little more meaningful.

I keep thinking about that bus trip from Long and Mcquaid. I don’t know, and my most recent experience with Liv, and with me. I started looking up addiction, mental health, and all that dark shit. I want to know what it actually is. Do we actually know how to treat it? Not really, AA and abstinence treatment says the success rate is 20% to 30%. That’s shitty, and we have so many resources available. I think we should legalize it all. JUST SAYING. Stop half-assing it with cannabis.

Picture the cannabis government store model… but selling all heavy drugs. Essentially all government manufactured, approved, and regulated. The cannabis stores out here look like candy shops. The government stores are beautifully done, the staff is educated, they know what to recommend as far as dosage amounts, they know the effects, they know the risks. They are licensed. The stores themselves are discrete from the outside. So when I say candy shop I mean for adults. I picture an illicit drug store like a gentrified old west saloon.. Dark wood walls, raw tobacco smell, low lighting. Cleans lines and backlit glass display cases behind the heavy wooden counter. Think – Decriminalizing 2.0 – Take it 1000 steps further. Accept it as what it is and embrace it, maybe if we could take the criminal and the shame aspect out and make it safer. All around. I wonder where we would be in ten years from now.

https://www.catie.ca/en/pif/spring-2021/safe-supply-what-it-and-what-happening-canada

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Louisa Vukovic, MA RSE.